Child abuse as banal as CBS Schoolbreak Special

FIRSTBORN (1984)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Originally viewed in 1984

It was bound to happen in today's age that some folks who were teens and saw "Firstborn" in theaters wax nostalgic memories about it. Because it is an 80's movie? Because it stars Corey Haim, Robert Downey, Jr. and Sarah Jessica Parker? Undoubtedly because having watched it for the first time recently since 1984, "Firstborn" is nothing more than a humdrum and alternately serious and silly family drama. Except for the first half of the film, nothing else in it rings true to me. Misguided in the last twenty minutes doesn't begin to describe the futility of the whole damned film.

Christopher Collet ("The Manhattan Project") and Corey Haim play Jake and Brian, the elder and younger sons of the matriarch of the family, Wendy (Teri Garr). They all live in a suburban home where the only friction consists of Brian spitting in his brother's Minute Maid juice. Wendy controls these two kids with calmness, though Brian always gets into fistfights at school. Jake is the lacrosse player with the girlfriend (Sarah Jessica Parker) and their relationship's biggest risk is having Parker attempting to run out of a clothing store fitting room with only a shirt and panties! Everything and everyone seem complaisant until Wendy gets a new boyfriend, a cocaine dealer named Sam (Peter Weller) who brags about a security systems company and opening a restaurant. Both are business ventures that he has no real interest in - he just wants to sell cocaine, sniff it and lay around the house watching TV. Jake sees right through Sam's false future plans and we get many scenes of Sam shoving and pushing Jake around and eventually abusing both kids with more physical force.

Some critics complained that "Firstborn" does an about face with a chase ending that seems borne out of a mediocre thriller, not a carefully cultivated domestic drama. They are not wrong yet "Firstborn" goes off the rails sooner with the introduction of the deadbeat loser Sam. As played by the usually wonderful actor Peter Weller, the guy is something of a weak-willed man who never seems threatening enough, at least to me. Never mind that Jake could easily knock this guy out with a solid punch, even Wendy could push this lightweight stringbean with not much force. I never believed for a second that the seemingly strong-willed, lonely Wendy would ever give this guy the time of day, thus all tension evaporates before it has a chance to develop.

"Firstborn" would've fared better with Peter Weller playing Sam as far more intimidating, not unlike say James Harper who plays Jake's stern teacher (easily the best performance in the film). Speaking of Harper, the war of words between Jake and the teacher who accuses Jake of plagiarizing his term paper has far more tension and rings true. It is exactly what is missing in the rest of "Firstborn."