More winks than scares

THIR13EN GHOSTS (2001)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Original Review from May 6th, 2002

Let's be honest: "Thirteen Ghosts" is a bad movie but it is so cheerfully over-the-top and so intent on at least trying to scare the bejesus out of you that it succeeds. It succeeds on the marginal level of pseudo-horror entertainment.

Based on the original 1960 William Castle production, the movie begins with a math teacher, Arthur (Tony Shalhoub), who learns he is inheriting an elaborate glass house from his late Uncle Cyrus (F. Murray Abraham). It is completely made of glass, right down to the corridors, hallways, walls, etc.
Arthur now has a second chance in his life after losing his wife in an accident. Needless to say, there is more than meets the eye in this house where enclosed spirits start going raving mad and attack with no provocation. There are twelve lost spirits in this house, all kept encased by the late Cyrus who was some sort of ghost hunter, and who has turned this house into a diabolical machine where the dead rule the house.

"Thirteen Ghosts" is the latest in the ironic horror comedies where winks outdo real scares. If your cup of scary tea is to see ghosts in gory makeup every few minutes, then this is the movie for you. They show up out of nowhere and sometimes they run with great velocity, always aiming to make the audience jump. My cup of tea is the imaginative hauntings of "The Others" where mood and atmosphere tweak our nerves more so than endless ghostly manifestations but what do I know. It is not a terrifying film experience but it does have some spooky scenes.

The performances hit the right notes, particularly Matthew Lillard (a real scream in "Scream") as Rafkin, a former employee of Cyrus whose job is to save Arthur and his family from the deadly ghosts. I also liked F. Murray Abraham's few choice scenes where he literally chews up the scenery. Shannon Elizabeth as Arthur's daughter is hardly given anything of value to do, but she is one hell of a good screamer. I also like the housekeeper who is given her share of one-liners.

Nicely shot and well-choreographed scenes, not to mention well-executed scares and superb make-up jobs, make most of "Thirteen Ghosts" fun to watch. It is a Saturday night rental for sure, just do not mistake it for real horror.