SHARKNADO: THE 4TH AWAKENS (2016)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
The latest "Sharknado" sequel reads like a laundry list of cheesily ballish, foolhardy and dunderheaded moments that make your head spin and your mouth salivate at the prospect of "how do we top this?" Accusing this series of being over-the-top is like saying silver-haired Alex Trebek will continue being host of "Jeopardy" for another thirty years - it is a given. So let us go through this laundry list of sheerly and unbelievably stupid moments from this hyped-up cartoon of a movie, shall we?
Tara Reid returns as April, a half-bionic, half-human, mostly all-functioning Terminatrix badass heroine who can also fly! (She supposedly died in the cliffhanger finale of the last "Sharknado") Ian Ziering, ever the formidable hero who can fight sharknados like nobody's business, is back as Fin and does his usual heroic shenanigans, including landing a car safely on the street after being swept by a sharknado from an improbably high altitude. Oh, there are firenados, bouldernados, lightningnados, even a nuclearnado thanks to sharks whipping their bodies around a nuclear power plant!
Cameos pollute every single frame of this movie. My favorites are Caroline Williams (80's cult movie star from "Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2" and "Stepfather 2") as a chainsaw seller who gets to hold one again for the first time since 1986, and co-founder of Troma Pictures, Lloyd Kaufman who issues warnings about the firenado that could crumble Mt. Rushmore. Steve Guttenberg appears for no discernible reason, presumably tying into his work in "Lavalantula," and Gary Busey actually plays it straight as a mad doctor who reanimated his daughter, April. Oh, and hell to the no with Carrot Top as an Uber Driver in Las Vegas, a presence that can grate my nerves. Oh, Hell to the No Part Deux with Gilbert Gottfried as some sort of field news correspondent who reports on the cownados (The "Twister" cow gag has already been in the series once before). Of course, cameos with these two comedians who are in desperate need of a nasal decongestant is still too much screen time. Stacey Dash also pops up in a hilarious turn as an aggressive politician who meets a Wicked Witch demise. I would like to have seen more of her.
As for new cast members, it is fun watching the ever-beaming Tommy Davidson as Aston, a CEO for Astro X which has helped terminate sharknados for five years. The one and only Dog the Bounty Hunter makes an appearance fleetingly as another chainsaw seller. Other than that, we get the usual gang of returnees from a haggard-looking David Hasselhoff as Fin's father to Natalie Morales and Al Roker as Today's anchors commenting on the sharknado weather patterns. I can't tell if the same actors playing Fin's kids are back or not, and I could care less since you will forget them as soon as they appear.
If anything could be improved with this endless SyFy series, it is finding a filmmaker who can shape and edit scenes together to deliver a payoff. For example, there is a peculiar scene towards the end where the cinematographer for whatever reason could not get a shot of Tara Reid giving mouth-to-mouth to Ian Ziering - did her contract stipulate that no shot can actually show Reid giving mouth-to-mouth to anyone? You see her giving mouth-to-mouth but the screen cuts her off at just above her mouth - huh? Some scenes are so randomly fragmented together during several climaxes that it is hard to tell what is happening to whom. That is the legacy of "Sharknado," a shapeless mess that is just meant to kick up the notch of incredulous Z movie entertainment. If you love sharknados of any kind and can enjoy a leather-strapped Tara Reid who often forces gazes at something in the distance, not to mention various "Star Wars", "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Wizard of Oz" references, then may this Shark Farce be with you.
