Simon Templar as Unintentional Farce

THE SAINT (1997)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
Original Review from April, 1997

There is no doubt in my mind that 1997's "The Saint" is a complete disaster - it is preposterous, predictable to the core, insanely over-the-top and downright embarrassing. Somehow, though, I enjoyed the heck out of it because it is the latest entry in the least understood movie genre known as the Guilty Pleasure genre or the "I hate to admit it, but I liked it" genre. Val Kilmer has a few of those in his repertoire, and this movie is certainly among them.

Based on the lively Roger Moore  TV series of the late 60's, it actually resembles Val Kilmer's own intentional parody of spy films, the hysterical "Top Secret." Kilmer plays Simon Templar, a high-tech thief who can steal almost any valuable from any high-security building or palace. His bank account is almost in the fifty million dollar range - he wants to try out one more caper and then he'll retire. Yeah, we never heard that idea before but usually it is with older men. Templar is still young so why would he want to retire? Who is his employer? Oh, never mind.

Enter Elisabeth Shue as a nuclear physicist (or is she a chemist?) who knows a thing or two about plutonium, and warns underwhelmed fellow scientists of its dangers and capabilities. Templar wants the sacred plutonium, in actuality some sort of cold fusion formula devised by Shue, which is hidden in some fortress but it manages to land in the hands of the Russians who want it for profit value (One of the Russian baddies is played by Valery Nikolaev, who was put to better use later that year in "U-Turn"). At least that is what I gather from the plot, though it is as confusing and labyrinthine as "Mission Impossible." Shue eventually falls in love with Templar and they are both on the run, but from whom exactly?

"The Saint" has various loopholes, characters, double-crosses and plot holes big enough to drive a 65-million dollar budget through that I gave up trying to follow the movie, and decided to enjoy it for whatever else there was. The main pleasure is derived from Val Kilmer's exceptionally clever and engaging performance as the cryptic Saint who disguises himself as a Jim Morrison-like poet, a nerdy scientist, an arms dealer with a wild hairdo, etc. The point of the movie is to witness the various disguises and accents Kilmer has in store, and it is enthralling to watch him perform.

Less enthralling is Elisabeth Shue who has sweet chemistry with Kilmer yet elicits zero charisma and personality - is this the same Oscar-nominated actress from "Leaving Las Vegas"? Her appearance suggests a naughty schoolgirl more so than a scientist giving lectures.

I know I shouldn't recommend "The Saint" but it is unintentionally and unforgivably funny and so entertaining that I didn't mind sitting through it (though I may not sit through it again), It is a clean, inoffensive and innocuous movie with big stars, several one-liners, cardboard villains, some old-fashioned narrow escapes and general derring-do. Don't expect anything resembling art.