Bland Identity

THE BOURNE IDENTITY (2002)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Original review from 2003)

Spy thrillers that deal with secret agents often excite me if they are as dependent on the actions of the characters as much as the mechanics of the plot. For truly spine-tingling spy thrillers, I would recommend two of the best recent ones starring Donald Sutherland, 1991's "Eminent Domain" and 1981's "Eye of the Needle." And for thrilling, in-your-face melodrama dealing with assassins and an implicit touch of humanity, you can't do better than Luc Besson's "Le Femme Nikita." "The Bourne Identity" has some mild pizazz but it never really takes off because the hero never seems to take flight.

Based on Robert Ludlum's best-seller, Matt Damon plays Jason Bourne, a highly skilled CIA assassin who is left for dead after attempting to kill an African leader. He is found near the port of Marseilles by a fisherman, is taken aboard, and is found with two bullet wounds and a device with a Swiss bank account number. The fisherman gives him money to go to Switzerland. The only problem is that Jason Bourne has no idea who he is or where he came from - he is a 100% amnesiac who somehow manages to kick and punch with the ease of a martial-arts fighter. He enters a Swiss bank without identification, retrieves his belongings which includes several passports and a gun, and leaves with a noticeably red bag (red as in "alert") while being hounded by CIA agents and efficient assassins. Jason convinces a German gypsy (Franka Potente) to drive him to his residency in Paris for 10,000 dollars. Meanwhile, Jason's boss, Ted Conklin (Chris Cooper), wants to eliminate him for failing his mission and arousing suspicions.

"The Bourne Identity" has the typical premise of corruption at the core of intelligence and makes the assassin amnesiac so that we identify with him through his inner identity search. All fine and dandy but the eventual explanation of why he was set up leaves a lot to be desired, resulting in one too many anticlimaxes. I barely cared enough about Jason Bourne to care about the outcome of his plight. We hardly get to see him in action enough to believe he possesses any ability to kill (to be fair, there is a hair-raising rooftop sequence where Bourne manages to climb down a building). Clive Owen plays another assassin on Bourne's tail and I would preferred if he was cast in the lead role - he brings some spark to the film in his part. It might have been a more unsentimental choice casting Owen but who wants sentiment in a Ludlum adaptation? Though Matt Damon does as well as he can, he is hardly convincing as an assassin and appears to be curiously remote and unaffected in every scene. Consider the excellent "La Femme Nikita" which showcased a character who was human and vulnerable despite being a cold-blooded assassin.

There is no level of urgency or weight to anything that occurs on screen in "The Bourne Identity." Sure, there are indispensable car chases, numerous shootouts, glass breakage and a sex scene (a tame one too considering the rating) but hardly any of it is the least bit exciting or tremulous. A bland hero, bland plot, bland villains - gosh, even popcorn has more taste than this.

May the Shark Farce Be With You

SHARKNADO: THE 4TH AWAKENS (2016)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

The latest "Sharknado" sequel reads like a laundry list of cheesily ballish, foolhardy and dunderheaded moments that make your head spin and your mouth salivate at the prospect of "how do we top this?" Accusing this series of being over-the-top is like saying silver-haired Alex Trebek will continue being host of "Jeopardy" for another thirty years - it is a given. So let us go through this laundry list of sheerly and unbelievably stupid moments from this hyped-up cartoon of a movie, shall we? 

Tara Reid returns as April, a half-bionic, half-human, mostly all-functioning Terminatrix badass heroine who can also fly! (She supposedly died in the cliffhanger finale of the last "Sharknado") Ian Ziering, ever the formidable hero who can fight sharknados like nobody's business, is back as Fin and does his usual heroic shenanigans, including landing a car safely on the street after being swept by a sharknado from an improbably high altitude. Oh, there are firenados, bouldernados, lightningnados, even a nuclearnado thanks to sharks whipping their bodies around a nuclear power plant!

Cameos pollute every single frame of this movie. My favorites are Caroline Williams (80's cult movie star from "Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2" and "Stepfather 2") as a chainsaw seller who gets to hold one again for the first time since 1986, and co-founder of Troma Pictures, Lloyd Kaufman who issues warnings about the firenado that could crumble Mt. Rushmore. Steve Guttenberg appears for no discernible reason, presumably tying into his work in "Lavalantula," and Gary Busey actually plays it straight as a mad doctor who reanimated his daughter, April. Oh, and hell to the no with Carrot Top as an Uber Driver in Las Vegas, a presence that can grate my nerves. Oh, Hell to the No Part Deux with Gilbert Gottfried as some sort of field news correspondent who reports on the cownados (The "Twister" cow gag has already been in the series once before). Of course, cameos with these two comedians who are in desperate need of a nasal decongestant is still too much screen time. Stacey Dash also pops up in a hilarious turn as an aggressive politician who meets a Wicked Witch demise. I would like to have seen more of her.

As for new cast members, it is fun watching the ever-beaming Tommy Davidson as Aston, a CEO for Astro X which has helped terminate sharknados for five years. The one and only Dog the Bounty Hunter makes an appearance fleetingly as another chainsaw seller. Other than that, we get the usual gang of returnees from a haggard-looking David Hasselhoff as Fin's father to Natalie Morales and Al Roker as Today's anchors commenting on the sharknado weather patterns. I can't tell if the same actors playing Fin's kids are back or not, and I could care less since you will forget them as soon as they appear.

If anything could be improved with this endless SyFy series, it is finding a filmmaker who can shape and edit scenes together to deliver a payoff. For example, there is a peculiar scene towards the end where the cinematographer for whatever reason could not get a shot of Tara Reid giving mouth-to-mouth to Ian Ziering - did her contract stipulate that no shot can actually show Reid giving mouth-to-mouth to anyone? You see her giving mouth-to-mouth but the screen cuts her off at just above her mouth - huh? Some scenes are so randomly fragmented together during several climaxes that it is hard to tell what is happening to whom. That is the legacy of "Sharknado," a shapeless mess that is just meant to kick up the notch of incredulous Z movie entertainment. If you love sharknados of any kind and can enjoy a leather-strapped Tara Reid who often forces gazes at something in the distance, not to mention various "Star Wars", "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Wizard of Oz" references, then may this Shark Farce be with you.

The virtues of 'Hamlet' in a DeVito 'comedy'

RENAISSANCE MAN (1994)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Watching a movie with Danny DeVito teaching remedial classes at a military base could invite a lot of guffaws based on its premise alone. "Renaissance Man" is not that film, in fact, I don't think I could even call it a comedy. It is a strange movie experience, sort of a marginal "Dead Poet's Society" clone except with a few more laughs and a lot of the same sentimentality. I liked it well enough but I was not sure what exactly I was watching.

DeVito is Bill Rago, a failed Detroit advertising man who can't make it to an important pitch meeting due to heavy traffic. Nothing here screams funny or hysterical from the start, especially when DeVito is so restrained from his usual hyperactive likable self. When Bill finally makes it to the meeting, everyone is gone and just then, I thought, well, he is going to overhear a conversation in the nearby office and then blare out his DeVito mannerisms - shouting and yelling to justify himself. Only the movie never gives him that chance. DeVito simply walks away, disappointed.

Since Bill can't cut it in advertising anymore, he receives unemployment. The agency, however, offers him a job - teaching basic comprehension at an Army base. Not exactly cutthroat "Mad Men" work but that is all there is. Bill is reluctant, can't find his way through the base and is unsure of his superiors and the recruits whom he has to teach. In short, it looks like another raucous Danny DeVito comedy but that is not the route director Penny Marshall and writer Jim Burnstein take. Instead, the recruits turn out to be an upbeat motley crew who come from backgrounds where they have been disenfranchised (one from a trailer park, another from Detroit - no prizes awarded to those who can guess where Marky Mark's character is from). Bill decides to teach them about similes, oxymorons and the Shakespeare play, "Hamlet." In fact, the rest of the film devotes itself to the complexities inherent in "Hamlet" that go way beyond the famous speech, "To be or not to be." The teacher finds a way of having his recruits learn to apply Shakespeare's tragedy and the fates of its characters to their own lives.

"Renaissance Man" is watchable with sentimental inclinations to its material. It is also oddly moving at times and I love the lessons imparted by Bill (though nothing at the beginning of the movie suggests this man is a lover of English Lit.) But I do not know what to call this film...a comedy with dramatic intonations or a drama with serviceable comedic overtones. It begins as a DeVito scorcher of a comedy, to some extent, and then it decides to play it straight. Odd and oddly diverting.

Footnote: Dark victory is not an oxymoron. Failed victory would be more appropriately oxymoronic.

The Coens' Masterful Thriller with an Airgun

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN (2007)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
My Pick for Best Film of 2007

As if the Coens didn't surprise me enough with their every directorial endeavor, "No Country for Old Men" is a massively engrossing western noir tale that is so steeped in mystery, violence and sublime storytelling that I cannot lavish enough praise. Yes, it is violent and may contain some offputing elements that have turned off some audiences (the killing of a dog, the far-out though not so ambiguous finish) but it is quite simply the best damn Coens flick ever made, far surpassing "Fargo" and "The Man Who Wasn't There," already my absolute favorites from this dynamic duo.

The movie begins with Tommy Lee Jones's narration over desolate shots of the Texas desert, explaining how today's criminals (including the mention of a teenage killer) have no sense of consequences in committing murders - they do it just to do it, not even for the thrill of it. He can't grasp these criminals and their thought processes. All this is made to seem melancholic, especially since they are the words of a local sheriff who has seen it all and may just be sick of it all too.

A silent killer is on the loose, known as Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem), who kills his victims with an air gun! He has the longer bowl haircut of Moe from the Three Stooges, wears black denim clothing, and has a plastered, Joker-like grin after he strangles a police officer that is chilling in its resplendence, almost a sense of orgasmic pleasure. Other times, he operates like the Terminator, killing with pin-point accuracy and nary an emotion. Interestingly, he sometimes offers his victims the choice of their fate by flipping a quarter. Never is this made more dramatic and thrilling than in the memorable scene where Chigurh plays the fate game with a gas station owner. It is so chilling and so scarily constructed, especially in terms of crisp dialogue, that it will leave you breathless. Every scene in "No Country for Old Men" operates on this level.

We also have Josh Brolin as Llewelyn Moss, a cowboy who loves to hunt antelope. He comes across a massacre that involved shady drug deals and lots of corpses. Moss observes and comes back to the scene of the crime at night, stealing the briefcase of cash and finds himself on the run from Chigurh (whom we learn is a hitman). Tommy Lee Jones is Ed Tom Bell, the sheriff, who is more surprised by the method in which Chigurh kills his victims than anything else.

Based on a novel by Cormac McCarthy, I wish not to say much more about "No Country for Old Men" except that it is an extraordinarily powerful, suspenseful and deeply moralistic film, and is played almost as a silent film with little to no music at all. This enhances each and every scene in the film, with moments of silence broken by gunfire or ambient sounds. Nothing is executed more beautifully by the Coens than Moss's struggle to get his bag of cash from out of a vent, or Chigurh nursing his wounds and stitching himself back together, or watching Sheriff Bell observing the evil that men do against the desert backdrop while trying to find clues to crimes that leave him nonplussed, or even Moss aiming his rifle at a herd in what looks like moments from a John Ford mixed with Sam Peckinpah western.

The morality of the film is determined by the risks that Moss and Chigurh make in their hourly decisions as they are always on the move. Neither men actually meet, except for a brief shootout, and they are always just barely crossing each other on the road. It is a film of pure dread and silence met with violence entering the lives of those who least expect it, and those who expect nothing less. That dichotomy, not to mention some richly memorable supporting characters, gives the film weight and texture. The Coens have made some great films and some not so wonderful - "No Country for Old Men" is their ultimate masterpiece.

Surviving the Holocaust

THE PIANIST (2002)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Original Review from 2002

(One of the top ten films of the 2000's)

The Holocaust remains a time and place that few will ever forget. It is as odious and horrendous a time as almost any other in the 20th century. No, I am not a Holocaust survivor (too young to be one) but my interest in the era has never dwindled. I still remember going to elementary school and hearing a Holocaust survivor describe her experiences in the camps and her need for survival - her words surged through the hearts of everyone in the audience. Lately we have been bombarded with so many films covering that time from every aspect. We have seen "Life is Beautiful," "Jakob the Liar," "The Grey Zone," dozens of documentaries and, of course, Steven Spielberg's "Schindler's List," which renewed interest in the subject all over again. And in case anybody thinks I had forgotten Lina Wermuller's "Seven Beauties" or Agnieszka Holland's "Europa, Europa" or the harrowing "Night and Fog" by Alan Resnais, then you are sadly mistaken. Now comes Roman Polanski's "The Pianist," which stands as an excellent film about survival in the most inhumane of times.

Wladyslaw Szpilman (Adrien Brody) is a popular pianist of classical works by composers like Chopin. He is living in Warsaw with his family, and mostly performs for a radio station. Then the bombs start dropping over the city, though Szpilman has no interest in leaving. The whole family assumes that the Nazis will be defeated by the Allied troops in one swift stroke. This is not to be as the Nazis start claiming their control in the city, forcing the Jews to wear armbands, shooting some without provocation, and entering their homes without warning. One scene shows Szpilman's father being forced to walk on the gutter as opposed to the streets. Szpilman himself cannot enter the local cafe where Jews are not allowed. He feels himself being drawn into a tight corner with no escape. The Jewish police are sometimes more brutal though they can offer help for the right price. Eventually, Szpilman's family is taken away in the trains to the concentration camps whereas Szpilman is forced to go to labor camps. Then more bombs are dropped. He soon finds himself occupying flats from friends in the Polish resistance, sleeping in closets, and then he is left wandering the streets of Warsaw which looks like a battlefield of ruins. This one shot alone has more power and resonance than anything found in "Schindler's List," as we see Szpilman walking with a limp among the eroded buildings and miles of rocks in the distance.

The film also tightens you into a corner as director Polanski draws us closer to the levels of frustration and hopelessness in Szpilman's condition. Szpilman gets sick, enervated, and practically starves to death, living on whatever he can find in nearly decimated houses and hospitals. Just when he thinks he is alone, a German officer finds him inside one of those houses. The officer asks Szpilman to play the piano in exchange for food and his coat. By the end of the film, we discover that Szpilman's own survival is all we need to move on, but can he ever forget what he has seen? The numerous executions and bomb blasts on the streets? The man in the wheelchair thrown out of a third-story flat? The sight of Szpilman's parents being led to their own deaths?

"The Pianist" is an amazing achievement as it shows one man's observation of war through windows and crevices. This subjective viewpoint of looking through mirror surfaces has become du jour for Polanski ever since "Cul-De-Sac." Polanski does not spare us the brutality nor does he lessen or abbreviate the horror. What is most amazing is that we see how one man survived with some help, and how the enemy is not always as unfriendly as one might think. That a Nazi with a loving family (as shown in one shot of a picture frame on his desk) would help a Jew during the last few days before the war was over is testament to the irony and honesty of a war one often deems as black-and-white. This is not fiction since it is based on Szpilman's own autobiography, and it tells us that evil sometimes has a human face after all. Adrien Brody lost weight to play the role, and he does a remarkable job of showing the various states of weakness and despair in Szpilman. He looks like a wrecked creature with puppy dog eyes, merely looking to survive and not get shot. It is a performance based solely on body language and facial expressions. It works quite well since Polanski gives us a nearly wordless last hour of silences and gestures in what remains the most potent section of the whole film.

"The Pianist" reminds us that thousands of personal stories exist during the Holocaust, and some are as scary and ironic as this one is. Finally, it is also a reminder that Roman Polanski has not lost his touch - his version of the Holocaust is at times as horrific and dramatically intense as some of his own great classics like "Repulsion" and "Rosemary's Baby." Many films about the Holocaust are likely to stay with you, but few have the honesty and verve of "The Pianist."

Good Will Hunting II

ROUNDERS (1998)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Originally reviewed in 1998

Back in 1998, I had thought that maybe Matt Damon was getting to a point where he was just repeating himself - the same path that early Tom Cruise went before proving what a fine, charismatic actor he really was. 1999's "The Talented Mr. Ripley" has proven to be a major exception. In "Rounders," Damon combines his "Good Will Hunting's" lead genius character with a cross of the lawyer theatrics in "The Rainmaker." In other words, you got it, Damon is playing a genius poker player (not a mathematician, but close) who happens to be a law student. Okay, that's not a fair criticism to make. The question is: is the movie any good? Yes, but Damon is too good to be true in his first lead role since "Good Will Hunting."

"Rounders" stars Damon as Mike McDermott, a clean-cut, high-stakes poker gambler, who calls it quits after losing $30,000 to a Russian gangster named Teddy KGB (John Malkovich). Mike chooses to stick to his law books and cavort with his live-in girlfriend, Jo (Gretchen Mol). No sooner can you predict that he'll revert to his gambling instincts when his troubled best friend, Worm (Edward Norton), is released from prison and goes back to gambling with Russians and other card players. Unsurprisingly, Worm brings the juice back into Mike's soul to gamble - Mike resists but can't help it and lies to Jo about his habit. The trouble is that Worm owes money to Teddy KGB and Mike vouches for Worm's activities - ouch! We're talking the noirish landscape of "Mean Streets," without the grit.

Most of "Rounders" is conventionally told but the difference is in the amount of attention paid to the details of poker playing. Director John Dahl and writers David Levien and Brian Koppelman render all the little secrets and nuances that all poker players adhere to. Since the film is narrated by Mike, we listen and watch how he studies players, and how he determines an opponent's cards because of the "tell." In other words, the opponent is telling the player what cards they are holding through gestures and specific tics. Teddy KGB's tell is the way he fondles an Oreo cookie. If he splits the cookie in front of his face, he's cheating. If he splits it by his ear, he's ahead and may be the winner.

Several scenes are structured around such moments. For example, there's an early scene where Mike enters a room where a judge and his cohorts are playing poker, and he pinpoints each hand the player is holding. It's an absorbing "movie" scene but unbelievable in context - how the hell can you tell what cards the players are holding if you just walked in out of nowhere but, then again, what do I know about poker? The movie's best, tense sequence is when Mike and Worm are roughed up by some cops after trying to swindle them - the scene has a noir element since it shows their desperation at trying to win money so they can pay back the gangsters.

The problem with "Rounders" is that it is too soft around the edges. It wants be a noirish Mamet-like parable about gambling and it has the right atmosphere for it but the wrong attitude. Matt Damon is too squeaky clean and youthful to be a professional gambler - he's like the Superboy of poker. He wins at every hand he plays, but the main thrust of the story should be how you can lose everything, even your life, when the gambling becomes an addiction. The irony of its conclusion is that it resorts to a "Rocky" climax, and then it tells you that gambling is the only solution to life's problems. You can't escape who you are or what you are.

"Rounders" does benefit from colorful supporting performances. I loved Martin Landau's sad-eyed Judge Petrovsky whose sole advice to Mike is that destiny chooses who we are - a platitude that is not applicable to Mike's situation. John Turturro is quite restrained, for a change, as Joey Knish, a gambler who doesn't take risks and plays just to make a living. John Malkovich is especially good as the thick-Russian-accented Teddy KGB who loves to fondle Oreo cookies. Also worth noting is the undernourished role of Jo, fetchingly played by Gretchen Mol, and she is the only reasonable person in the entire movie!

Accolades must go to Edward Norton playing the weasel-like loser, appropriately named Worm, who takes far too many risks. It also seems as if he's not much of a poker player since Mike comes to his aid and plays at very club and function to win the money they owe. Norton brings an authenticity to the role - he appears as a real-life character with flaws.

"Rounders" is generally well-acted, well-directed and well-shot. The movie is full of whispers, jazz music, smoky corridors, and pious platitudes about gambling and poker courtesy of Mike's voice-overs. Still, the movie takes the easy way out and lets Mike off the hook. Several poker-playing scenes and Mike's grand exit at the end reminded me too much of "Good Will Hunting." It would been a more winning hand if the film was only about Worm.

Jim Carrey making amends

BRUCE ALMIGHTY (2003)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Originally reviewed in 2003)

There was a time when Jim Carrey could make one's heart miss a beat with his anything-goes comedic hijinks - a mixture of the slapstick with a physical prowess that was unlike anything ever seen before. Carrey didn't just make us laugh by making faces or talking out of his derriere - he was the comedic equivalent of the Plastic Man. He could contort his body to do the kind of acts that could realistically cause herniated disks. With "Bruce Almighty," Carrey is rather toned-down from his usual manic act. More restrained than usual, I got the feeling that he wanted to apologize for making even the most rubbery facial expression.

Carrey plays Bruce Nolan, a feature reporter for Eyewitness News in Buffalo. He longs to be anchor and known for something besides the customary tag line, "and that's how the cookie crumbles." He is the butt of jokes in the office and even his boss (Philip Baker Hall) does not take him seriously (Bruce is later fired for making obscene remarks in a live broadcast at Niagara Falls). Bruce's devoted girlfriend (Jennifer Aniston) feels slighted when he calls his life mediocre. All it takes is for him to be given a second chance by God Himself (Morgan Freeman). This God lives in some abandoned warehouse, mops the floor, fixes the electricity, and wears a snappy white outfit. He offers Bruce a chance to redeem himself (and for his blasphemous name-calling) by taking over as God for seven days, utilizing all His powers to do anything he wants except the use of free will. Bruce starts tearing up Buffalo by getting revenge on some hoodlums who had beaten him up; create a fountain of water out of a fire hydrant; mimic parting the Red Sea in a bowl of tomato soup; get his reporter job back by mysteriously finding the remains of Jimmy Hoffa; make a rival news reporter fumble his newscast; literally lasso a moon and force it to come closer to the Earth's surface (a cute Capraesque nod to "It's a Wonderful Life"); make his girlfriend grow larger breasts and get the orgasm of her life, and so on. All of this adds up to a fun-filled first hour of pure delight - all we can do is wait and see what Bruce will come up with next.

The trailer for "Bruce Almighty" indicated nothing more than pure laughs based on Bruce's extraordinary powers. Alas, there is more up the film's sleeve, and not all of it is as funny as its initial premise. God is sad to see Bruce using his powers to his heart's content, never thinking for a moment that maybe people's prayers need to be answered. In other words, Bruce has to amend for his blasphemous name-calling and his selfish needs in order to help others, particularly his girlfriend who dumps him after finding him kissing another woman. What we get is the constant referencing to God and constant praying - if you are selfish, God can help you. All you need to do is pray for a miracle. The last thing I would expect from a Jim Carrey flick is a religious sermon.

"Bruce Almighty" has a few laugh-out-loud moments, and quite a few superb zingers. Carrey and Aniston have sparkling chemistry and seem to really play two people who are deeply in love. In fact, the final scenes where Aniston pleads for his return, even if she wants to forget him, is truly touching. Carrey also has the ability to make me care about him in ways that few actors can accomplish (even the ugly "Grinch" elicited a brief emotional response from me). It's just that for such an inventive premise, the movie opts to rationalize and moralize Bruce's behavior, making us think that such brazen use of the Almighty's powers is not enough - we have to realize it is also wrong to use them to our own advantage. It may also mirror Carrey's own amending for his purely maniacal and physical humor. Why should he apologize for what made him so popular in the first place?